A Case in squishee
by drebom
Summary: a collection of stories about Bartman and Houseboy A.K.A Bart and Milhouse. UPDATE! this was called originally the bartman files, but i can't think of any storylines! sorry to any fans this may have attracted. just ignore the end of part 2.
1. A case in squishee part 1

The Bartman Files

Right, this is a collection of stories regarding bartman, Bart's superhero identity, and houseboy (milhouse) so, I will refer to them as bartman and houseboy, apart from scenes where this wouldn't make sense, e.g. at home, school etc. new chapters may be disrupted by school and homework, so be patient. Oh-and this is my first story, so bear this in mind when reviewing. Now- on with the story!

Chapter 1: a case in squishee: part 1

**Apu was working late. Again. Suddenly the door swished open and shut again. "Hello what can I do for AARRGHH!" SMASH! Thump! The doors swished open and shut. Pools of red and blue liquid spread out from behind the counter…**

"This is Kent Brockman reporting live from..." 'Bor-ing!' thought Bart as the family sat down in front of the TV. 'why couldn't we go to krusty burger? The're having that free krusty figurine giveaway right now and...' Suddenly, something Kent said grabbed his attention...

"-sman, Apu whajamacallit, was reported missing this morning by two would-be shoplifters"

' WHA?' Bart was shocked- how did this happen? And why?

"He was apparently on his usual shift when he disappeared between 9 and9:30 AM. If anybody knows anything, we implore you to contact the police. Earlier, we…"

' huh! As if chief Wiggam could crack this case! This looks like a job for.. BARTMAN!'

One costume change and signaling later, Bartman and Houseboy were arriving at the scene of the easily slipped inside the Qwik-E-Mart and started to take in the scene before them. Pools of red and blue squisee dripped from the smashed machine. A single set of footprints led towards the counter through the pool of popular drink, but not away, and there were some strange drag marks - a thick line either side of the footprints. They were absolutely stumped.

"What on earth happened?" wondered Bartman out loud "This doesn't make any sense!"

"I know," agreed Houseboy, "it's like..errr…ummmm…."

"It's like some guy walking with a suitcase kidnapped Apu, broke the machine and then didn't bother to walk back and disappeared!" interrupted Bartman.

"Let's sleep on it! That always works in the movies! One of us has a weird dream which gives them a big clue or idea, which allows them to solve the whole thing!" suggested Houseboy.

"Oh yeah! That always works! Lets give it a go!" exclaimed Bartman. The two friends split up, heading to their homes. Bart climbed the tree and slipped into his bedroom through the window. Milhouse, however, watched some TV. It turned out that Apu had a distant relative, who had been kicked out of work at a Shelbyville kwik-e-mart, and had been turned down by Apu to work at his. He was coming to take over the kwik-e-mart until Apu was was going to be an interview with him, but he was discovered and sent to bed before he could see the man. Bart, however, had a much more nasty night in store….

Bart turned over in bed. He just couldn't get to sleep. Suddenly, a floorboard creaked close by. He Froze! After a while, he relaxed again. It was probably just the cat. Besides, why – The intruder pounced!

To be continued….

WOW! What a cliffhanger, eh? I know it's a bit short, but this is my first go. Part 2 is coming soon, so in the meantime, please review!


	2. A case in squishee part 2

The Bartman Files

Chapter 2: a case in squishee: part 2

Bart finally spat out the gag. He had been knocked out and trussed up to a chair by his unknown assailant, and he had no idea where he was.

" well well well. What do we have here? A snoop it seems, eh, BARTMAN! how much do you know? Tell me, or suffer!"

"As if I would! Retorted Bart " you have the wrong guy, mister– Bartman just dumps his costume at my place sometimes to confuse enemies– he gave you the slip, big-time!"

"wha? You mean— how did– WHAT?"

Bart grinned enjoying the utter confusement he had bestowed on the man opposite. Right– you are coming with me! But first…." quick as lightning, he whipped a piece of material from behind his back and tied it around Bart's head. " there, all done."

"HEY!" Complained Bart " what's the big idea?" the man said nothing. Bart fell silent, and in that silence he heard a whirring sound. Not far off, but low, and somehow muffled.

'no… surly not… it is!' thought Bart ' I know exactly where I am, and more importantly, I know who _HE_ is!' as quick as his assailant was only moments ago, he broke free of his restraining grip and darted around a corner he knew was there.

" Its over, _Dapu_! I saw you arguing with Apu last week! I know you wanted ownership of the Kwik-E-Mart! I know that you came here, to the Kwik-E-Mart! You knocked him out, accidentally smashing the squishee machine, which has been fixed and you can hear whirring now! You then dragged him to the basement, where is right now! Its over! Give up!" and with that, Bart vaulted over the counter, jabbed the silent alarm, vaulted back and rammed a trolley packed with stuff to be shelved into the doors blocking them he dived behind a aisle and waited for the police.

It was over. Dapu had been arrested and sentenced to 5 years in jail. Apu had been found, and the case was closed. Bart had brought milhouse up to speed, and they were writing reports of their actions, ready to be filed on the computer in the lair beneath the tree house.

As an added bonus, Bart had been given a few days of school to recover from his 'ordeal' as Marge put it. Finally, they finished, the reports were filed, and the case in squishee came to a close.

**Nice ending don't you think? I'll be writing a new chapter soon so be patient. Don't forget to review!**


End file.
